Looking back on this year...

Have you ever had the feeling that something is going to be great, that you just felt it in your gut? Well that's how I felt about this year going into it. But really, I gotta say, With certain things, I was pretty let down. This year actually started out with enough steam when we began rehearsals for the fall musical and all, but then the year went on. After the performance and all that crazy media coverage, we were all feeling pretty good I imagine. But I believe that it was right before the musical or after that we took a trip to the shakespearian festival. I had it in my mind that this was going to be great, but it truely was a dramatic disaster! Certain people, were being incredibly stupid and making other people feel like shit, including me I'll admit, others were just pretty unaffected by all of this crap...they were lucky. So here I was, thinking I was going to have the time of my life, but instead feeling like nothing thanks to certain people. It took a good friend of mine to pull me out of my slump, and make me realize what a tool these people were and how I was better than that and it wasn't worth my time and feelings. He saw I was upset and stepped in, giving me great advice and just making everything seem alright. You know who you are, and I just want to say thank you. You did a great thing for me, and if it wasn't for you, I be one of those dumb people who was upset all the time because of another stupid person. Overall, I was just glad that it ended, though it hadn't been all bad I have to say. As the year progessed, I caused some bad feelings between a few friends and myself, which I'm not proud of at all. There were quite a few points were I thought people were mad at me but weren't I found out later but I still didn't feel that great. I was experiencing some severe depression and negativity through out this year ande harboring things I wanted to really wanted to say, but ended up fumbling over my words and feet everytime I even thought about it. Eventually I said the things I wanted to, and I realize that I feel much better about things, I just wish I said it all sooner. A month or two pass, and "Take 5" is upon us. I HATED IT. To begin with cause a certain director, she wasn't a bad person, it just seemed like she didn't care about us and didn't know what she was doing. The role I had this year, was pretty amazing I think. It made me realize that I was versatile and could do something besides comedy. I was not only doing a dramatic play, I was also playing a dead, seventeen year old boy! In the end, I loved it. I thought that the year before had been great, and it was thanks to my director then. But this year was even better towards the end. That then brings us to, the end of the year. AARG! I had been pretty sad about the end since before the beginning, it just came so damn quickly. My older friends were seniors and they were graduating, but I wasn't all that sad anymore. I knew it had to happen eventually, so I was more excited for them than anything, and proud. But then came senior wills night. Oh god. I've never been so happy, so sad, yet so hopeful in all my life....and all at once too. At the end of the night, inside, I was beside myself. On the outside, I was sobbing like everyone else. I had recieved two senior wills from two seniors, who kinda kept me going on in the year, so again, thank you. Looking back, this year wasn't all that bad, it definatley wasn't what I expected at all! I mean, I almost quit theater altogether! That would have been a HUGE mistake. But the question is, how do I think next year is going to be? I honestly don't know yet, but one can hope...even though it's junior year and it's said that's the worst year of highschool above all. At least I can say, that I can count on the great friends I made and that they're almost always there for me. Next year? I'm totally ready, bring it on.