Hey guys, me again.
I'm at the ever so difficult time where life is blowing past me and I'm indifferent and altogether unfeeling. I guess the only way to describe it is it's a never ending out of body experience. At least in the mental sense. I'm not really tired in the mornings, but I am dragging. And at points, I wonder why I wake up in the first place. I drink the magnum sized bottle of muscato wine until I'm bumbling, using when I'm writing a paper. I sigh more than usual, yet it doesn't bring any relief. I honestly don't think it's depression; if it is, then those pills I take are fucking useless.
DESPITE all of this, it's music that brings me back. I know I'm a broken record at this point, I've mentioned this a few times in past posts. Only because it still rings true in all my lowest moments. Those general down moments I have that there is no apparent reason behind, but music...what would I do without it? The band currently keeping me mentally around, Rooney :)
Since I saw them a week ago, I feel different. I was completely blissful long after the show ended. And though I am emotionally vacant at the moment, I can listen to their music and feel somewhat better, hopeful even. I recognize I have problems with my brain chemistry, its more obvious as time passes because this is becoming a VERY annoying constant in my life. Luckily though, music stabilizes me.
I know they'll never read this, but Robert, Ned, Taylor, Louie and Brandon; thank you for your dedication and the love you show your fans. Thank you for writing music that means something. It helps me more than you'll ever know. Love you guys :) Keep on keepin' on.
So with it being March now, I'm making it two songs of the month.
And to you the viewer, thanks for taking time to read my blog. I want you all to know I appreciate your friendship. I value the ability to voice my feelings and opinions, (nerdy or normal) and having you guys read them. Means a lot.
Hoping to be uplifted soon.
Until then, keeping the music in my heart and head.
-Beth
*SONG(s) OF THE MONTH*
"Holdin' on"-Rooney (Really embodies how I am feeling)
"The Days Keep Going by"-Rooney
(Last song on their playlist)
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