Complexities

Did anyone expect life when you're older to entail this much?
I know I didn't, I was a free-wheeling-half-crazed child...god I miss that.
This month has been beyond me if that makes sense. I feel like I'm drifting through everyday.
Its all so much to take in at once, and when you're someone like me, who feels like they should always have it together and then ultimately loses it, life is just like driving through thick fog. You can't see what's ahead and you just try to get through it as fast as possible hoping that soon you'll be in the clear.
I'm feeling not myself and I now ask this question;
Was who I was before me? Or is this feeling trying to jolt me awake to see who I really am?
Maybe this is just nerves but as I said, it feels endless.
Big decisions always get me like this; there's a long feeling of sadness, then nothing.
Weird right?
Well it just takes time. Time for some re-discovery, scary shit let me tell you.

That's all I have to say for now.
Until next time.

-Beth

*SONG OF THE MONTH*
"Society" by Eddie Vetter
(New thing I'm doing)