Bombshell

Yesterday wasn't great to say the least. My mom went out to get the mail, she comes back in with a note from one of our landlords saying I'm going to sell the house. Now this might not sound like a big deal, but it was. We had previously made a deal with them, that they were not to list the house until the summer after I graduated. Well this obviously didn't phase them as they were forcing us into thinking of ourselves being homeless. My mom and I sat in the kitchen while she was on the phone talking to the only sympathetic landlords. They only said, "We'll try". That means pretty much nothing, "they'll try". Well we were both panic stricken, trying to think what we were going to do, thinking of how we were going to have to get rid of stuff since we probably couldn't afford a moving truck...problem after problem after problem. I have lived in this house my entire life, my mom for 20 years. So its only normal to be upset in this situation. Through the afternoon, I was thinking about where we would end up, about the house possibly getting demolished if a business bought it. These thoughts only brought tears to my eyes. And despite the efforts of my friends, I was still feeling helpless and miserable. Who wouldn't in that situation? I ended up at my friends' yard sale where I had an hour before put my bike up to be bought, I was trying to initiate the whole "getting rid of stuff"also thinking I could get a good price for it. While sitting there I could only think those sad thoughts, and when someone was offering to buy my bike, I decided I couldn't sell. I also figured that I ought to get back to my mom, she had to of needed me. So I biked the 3 blocks back, and there pulls up my neighbor(our house is a 3 unit living space, a studio which is his house, a basement, and the central area of the house which is our area). We start talking about the landlords letter, he precedes to tell me not to worry. This confuses me because of our situation. He says that our house won't sell because of the crappy condition it is in, admittedly he's right. The plumbing, the foundation, the wiring for the electricity...You name it, it more than likely needs fixing. This whole house would cost anyone too much to fix and its not zoned for a business thank god. This is the only time since it started that I was glad the economy is in the shape it is! My neighbor said that they'd be lucky to sell this house in 5 years, they're so greedy that they won't even take fair market value which is a little over 260,000, my great uncle 8 years ago offered that amount to buy the lot and he was going to pay in cash. They didn't accept. Anyway, after talking about the housing market and the house that is now titled thanks to our neighbor "Our piece of shit", our minds were put at ease. The house isn't going to sell for a while, so I'm safe for now. But since I'm looking at moving out of the house that I grew up in, I still feel saddened. I knew it had to happen eventually, and I'm aware of its condition, but after 18 years you tend to get attached. But I get to enjoy my last year with this house. My biggest hope is that a business won't buy it when the economy is back up. My opinion of this is that homes should stay exactly that, I know there is no stopping progress, but I would like to come back 20 years from now and see it still standing, being able to say that that was the house I grew up in. As opposed to the alternative of staring a another dog and cat grooming place or a travel agency. I don't mind stopping development if it keeps my best memories intact.

Midnight Mind Wandering

I am still wide awake, (as I have been consistantly all summer) and feeling pretty good about everything. I just finished a great book entitled "An Abundance of Katherines" by John Green. It was so great because it was entertaining, but at the same time, the ending of it made me think. Here's a rather long quote from the book about the main character; "And in that space, Collin thought, there was room enough to reinvent himself---room enough to make himself into something other than a prodigy, to remake his story better and different---room enough to be reborn again and again. A snake killer, an Archduke, a slayer of TOCs---a genius even. There was room enough to be anyone---anyone except whom he'd already been, for if Colin had learned thing from Gutshot, it's that you can't stop the future from coming. And for the first time in his life, he smiled thinking about the always-coming infinite future stretching out before him." That just really hit home with me :) It makes me not worry so much about what will happen in the future even if it turns out to be bad. The obvious thing is that it all happens for a reason, but the good news is that there is a long stretch of time for good things to happen. The future is exciting. This quote made me realize to calm the "fug" down :) (Two of the main characters say "fug" along with other variations of it in the book as a tribute to this author who had to clean up his language in a book to get it published.) The only thing to do is to BE excited. Ya, everything as of now is unknown. But I'm just looking for all the good things to happen to me, because they will. Life, as I believe, is meant to be lived. Maybe with some caution here and there, but living is the exciting part. As I have learned from this book, doing something crazy would be living well and bettering yourself! Thats my little bit of advice, maybe I'll even follow it! Who knows right?

Thats my final word for tonight, along with the strong recommendation of this book.
Remember friends, The purpose of life is to live :)

The 12th Year

It was only 3 years ago that I was just starting out in High School. Nothing has ever seemed as strange to me as this, I am one year from the real world. It's truly amazing how fast time passes, how much I've changed. Being at the beginning of the end, its difficult for me to imagine never being apart of my school again. In all honesty, I can't really think about it. Most are understandably excited to graduate and get away from the seemingly obnoxious and mundane experience of high school. I know I will be at some point, but I think of how much there is to do and only one year to do it in. Normally that would seem like plenty of time, but when you're looking at a one way trip to college it seems concise, like the ultimate deadline. All I'm saying is that its funny how we can take our time for granted. It seems like everything is moving so slowly, we drag our feet day in and day out, staring at the clock for a 90 minute duration just waiting for the school day to be over. What we fail to realize is how fast time is actually passing by. Its like you blink, and its gone. Thats where I currently am. I think the reason a year seems so short is how I've heard from everyone that Senior year is not only your best year, but its also your fastest. All there is to do is live it up and enjoy the ride. I will be working my butt off to be ready, but it will so be worth it. It won't hit me for a while after it happens, but when I get ready to put on that cap and gown, shake hands with the principal, and recieve my diploma for the past four years, I will have the sweet memories of high school running through my head the entire time. Here's to what is sure to be an incredible last year, the 12th year.