A better me, a terrible video, and homework.

Hey friends, been awhile.

When last we left off, I was long gone emotionally.

How am I doing now? A little more worn and kind of stressed but it's ok, after all, its the big push towards finals and that means homework and more homework :p

Now referring to the title...

As you all know, I am shy when it comes to talking/introducing my self to men folk.

Always have been. I don't believe that I have ever really put myself out there. When I do, I act like a damned fool. I hate looking like a fool around guys :p

Until the other night that is...

For the hell of it, I decided to put a personal ad up...ya ya I know not a huge step and kind of sad but I did it. The response? Honestly overwhelming.

But am I happier, ya won't lie, I am :)

As we all know, there is a risk with personal ads that you'll attract weirdos, of course I did.

But I also through this have met some fantastic guys. And while it wasn't in person, it took a lot for me to "man up" and post that ad. SO socially, it looks like I'll be busy for a while, assuming I have time with finals :P haha

I am hoping for the best and so far, so good :)

I do have something to bitch about if I may. Rebecca Black? Really. Come the fuck on. I sincerely wish I didn't know about her. If you don't, all you need is the summary. For your mental wellbeing, do NOT look this up. She gained instafame on youtube for her stupid song. That's all I will say because I don't want to advertise her. On that note, YOU SUCK. Your song sucks and YOU SUCK. Get it? YOU WILL NEVER BE A POP STAR OR FOR THAT MATTER A MUSICIAN. YOU HAVE SO MANY HITS ONLY BECAUSE YOUR SONG IS TERRIBLE. YOU MAKE ME WANT TO PUNT SMALL CHILDREN. That is all.

And so all of you see my point, at the bottom I've attached a hilarious cover of the song at the end of this post, you can watch that and not vomit. OK. I'm done with that. Moving right along...

OH I have also started a band with two friends. Just got to get that off the ground and we're solid! Folk rock band, hell yes.

Writing more songs, can't post them for obvious reasons but friends, a time will come when they will all be copyrighted and I can share them :) They're coming along splendidly

Life is improving. That's really all I have to say. SO yay for that.

Hope all is well with my friends out there, lets get this term over with! :)

From Beth, with love.

Thank You For the Music.

Hey guys, me again.

I'm at the ever so difficult time where life is blowing past me and I'm indifferent and altogether unfeeling. I guess the only way to describe it is it's a never ending out of body experience. At least in the mental sense. I'm not really tired in the mornings, but I am dragging. And at points, I wonder why I wake up in the first place. I drink the magnum sized bottle of muscato wine until I'm bumbling, using when I'm writing a paper. I sigh more than usual, yet it doesn't bring any relief. I honestly don't think it's depression; if it is, then those pills I take are fucking useless.

DESPITE all of this, it's music that brings me back. I know I'm a broken record at this point, I've mentioned this a few times in past posts. Only because it still rings true in all my lowest moments. Those general down moments I have that there is no apparent reason behind, but music...what would I do without it? The band currently keeping me mentally around, Rooney :)

Since I saw them a week ago, I feel different. I was completely blissful long after the show ended. And though I am emotionally vacant at the moment, I can listen to their music and feel somewhat better, hopeful even. I recognize I have problems with my brain chemistry, its more obvious as time passes because this is becoming a VERY annoying constant in my life. Luckily though, music stabilizes me.

I know they'll never read this, but Robert, Ned, Taylor, Louie and Brandon; thank you for your dedication and the love you show your fans. Thank you for writing music that means something. It helps me more than you'll ever know. Love you guys :) Keep on keepin' on.

So with it being March now, I'm making it two songs of the month.

And to you the viewer, thanks for taking time to read my blog. I want you all to know I appreciate your friendship. I value the ability to voice my feelings and opinions, (nerdy or normal) and having you guys read them. Means a lot.

Hoping to be uplifted soon.

Until then, keeping the music in my heart and head.

-Beth

*SONG(s) OF THE MONTH*

"Holdin' on"-Rooney (Really embodies how I am feeling)

"The Days Keep Going by"-Rooney

http://www.myspace.com/rooney

(Last song on their playlist)