NO TREAT FOR YOU: Costumes that will make you UNLAYABLE.

Hello readers! As the title suggests, this is a seasonal blog post taking aboot costumes. I did a lot of looking around for a costume, and I saw some god awful ones that I thought to share with you: The top five worst costumes for women and men. Be warned: if there is a pun to be made, it is made. And believe me, it hurts me to make them just as much as it hurts you to read them. Not to mention, this post is entirely immature and makes the not-so-bold assumption that ya'll may want some tail this season so be assured this post is a "what not to wear" deal that may help you with your costume purchase. :)

SO if you've purchased any of these, (#fail) come Halloween be sure to put away the condoms and close your legs ladies because it ain't happening.

Women's Costumes:

10.Crayola Crayon Costume

Admittedly, not the "worst" costume in the world. While you could have some playful banter about the suggestive point and coloring of this costume, at the end of the night, he's going home with the sexy nurse. Not the moderately"attractive" crayon.

9. Red Fraggle Costume

Pardon the pun, but me thinks he won't be fraggling your rock this halloween. This to me is just kind of a nightmare, seriously, what guy fantasizes about getting with a puppet from their childhood?

8. Pac-Man Inky Costume

Well if they were to be gettin' up in your business, your face could easily be covered...

Ya I know that sounds bad :p BUT think about it, maybe if you were Ms. Pac-Man, that'd be better. But this has the sex appeal of, well, inky....meaning zero.

7. Cat In Hat Thing 1 or 2 Costume

Ready for another terrible pun? Here goes, and just remember these costumes provoke me...No thing on your thing action. OK now that I got that out of the way, for reals, this is a terrible costume. To me it looks like a crazy grandma who dyed her hair and is running around in her long johns...oh baby.

6. Yo Gabba Gabba Foofa Costume

Do I really have to say it? Ok seriously what the fuck. NO.

Isn't this a kid's cartoon? And isn't this costume just creepy on its own? Yikes.

Ya this just is self evident, don't wear this.

On a side note, I'm not advocating dressing slutty this holiday. You could always be a bad ass instead. Remember, just because women usually dress skanktastic, doesn't mean you have to.

Men's Costumes:

5. Pee-Wee Herman Costume

What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite game? Handball. (Cue creepy Pee-Wee laugh) HAHA.

And that's what you'll be playing on halloween if you pay homage to the creepiest TV character ever. SO pick virtually anything else. Except the following costumes of course....

4. Blunt Master Joint Costume

Pull out your wallet and put some cash in the douchebag jar, because seriously this is the most tool-worthy costume one could possibly wear. Nothing says "Hey I'm motivated and intelligent" like dressing up as a massive joint. Just go home and take some hits dude. No action for you.

3. Gnome Costume

On the plus side, this isn't that stupid. It just looks like he'll murder you in your sleep. Gnomes creep me the fuck out, don't know about you guys but really, look at that shit. Again, I give it a point for not being outrageously stupid, but ladies, would you go gnome with this? Ya. I did again. (sorry)

2. Bull Rider Costume

WHOA there cowboy, tain't no need to wrap it before it's ridden. Because all you'll be doing is riding that fake bull home to a bottle of lotion and your laptop...BOOM. Insulted. Ok ok, all gross imagery aside, this just screams LAAAAMMMMMEEE. Simply put, don't do it. You'll be happy you didn't!

1. Ghostbuster Marshmallow Man Costume

The movie was great, but I had nightmares of this big squishy s.o.b. trying to eat me. No thank you. This one is the worst because it far surpasses any of the other costumes in the creepy category, and unless a lady is looking to be stuffed by a marshmallow (god I hope there isn't), then this'll get you no one broseph. Please don't haunt the streets in this. PLEASE.

I guess my ending point would have to be this: Don't wear something lame, creepy, or outrageously stupid. Be awesome with your costume. Both men and woman, be bad ass.

Hope this was helpful/entertaining, later kids and play it safe this Halloween!

Until next time!

-Beth

*SONG OF THE MONTH*

"Talk About" by Dear and the Headlights

Top 10 Spidey Memes

I hope these give you some laughs, I love spidey memes. :D

Enjoy!

TOP TEN SPIDEY MEMES

#10

#9

#8

#7

#6

#5

#4

#3

#2

NUMBA 1!

That's all folks!

Until next time.

-Beth

One Night.

Sometimes in the midst

Of jumbled thoughts and mixed feelings,

That's all it takes for clarity.

One night.

One person.

You look up and suddenly see stars again,

Your cheeks are sore from that grin that is plastered on your face

And gives no sign of being erased.

You know where you want to take your life, yourself.

Who you want to be.

You learn from past mistakes and for your sake,

Stop from repeating them so you can be the person

You want to be.

And there you emerge,

Thoughts sorted with one that hangs in suspension.

One thought.

One person.

I don't know what is to come,

I have hope.

For these feelings,

Being unlike anything before

I know I've won.

And this smile feels right at home,

And this heart knows where it rests.

And now, peace.

**************

Take it easy kids :)

-Beth