Bob Dylan said it well didn't he? Though 60% of the time no one understood what he said this statement was clear and ridiculously true! Few things in this world remain constant, look at the presidency---decades of white presidents and out of the blue America elects for change. The earth----ozone USE TO be there but we've simultaneously screwed it all up. People themselves rarely stay the same; there are theories in psychology, one in particular that I remember studying at the beginning of this year is personality defined by colors. My teacher, Fenn, was saying how there are four kind of people; gold, green, blue, and orange. Gold, the most responsible and maternal. Green, very intellectual and outspoken. Blue, sensitive and artistic. And Orange, the free spirit who parties. Anyway she was saying how you can be one of these personalities and within a matter of 5-10 years switch to your second most dominant color. My point being is that CHANGE itself is the constant, it's to be anticipated. But is anyone ever ready for it? (I would hope I'm not alone on this) I currently am at a crossroads of life; graduation from high school. I obviously knew it was coming, but it hit me the other night at senior wills and all I could think was where did the time go? The future is almost too unknown, college means real life. Full of student loans, exams, and living off of top ramon. Ok that last one was just what I've heard from friends, not necessarily real life. Then I've heard that college is just an extension of high school, ya like anyone really wants that.
What makes me contemplate this is not being a part of the drama department anymore. There are times where I've looked around my room at the show posters of the past four years and seen the faces, telling myself "they're gone, they're gone"...and now as I look at my Mother Hicks poster, it's me that's leaving. Life for me in high school was theater and I will be going into a foreign group of people. I guess I'm worried that I'll come out the other side not knowing what I'm doing or where I'm supposed to be going, that I won't feel the same as I did in high school. I tend to be a logical thinker which impedes on what I really want. I guess my genuine hope is that all this change won't overwhelm me and that I'll be happy.
It really is just a matter of acceptance now. Because obviously it's going to happen. I hope that life won't get too hectic and that I'll manage to maintain who I am in the face of realism. Wish me luck! Because I have 3 weeks left and one performance to go, which is going to be the hardest.
Until next time.
-Beth
